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tylenold:

it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine

suspnd:

suspnd:

suspnd:

my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing

update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore

SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP

snorlaxatives:

if i could bring one dead person back to life i’d bring back Walt Disney just to show him the shows on disney channel and see his reaction

wank-r:

if you make me laugh im already 89% in love with you